I just saw a face in this tree, but when I pointed it out to my friend Sweeney, he saw Frank from “Donnie Darko.” I say make your simulacra as dark as you like.
Fuck: Charles Foster Offdensen, obviously. Anyone who can negotiate a Dethklok contract can negotiate consent like a BOSS. And you know he would be awesome in bed.
Marry: Pickles. Then, after being called “douchebag” one too many times, divorce Pickles. Then collect sweet, sweet Dethklok alimony forever.
Kill: Dr. Rockso. For one thing, I’m a coulrophobe and he’s a clown. But also…it would practically be a mercy killing. Yuh-yuh-yuh-yuh-yuh-yuh-YEAH!
Our cat gets very vocal on the first sunny day after several gloomy, grey days in a row.
I have an idea.
Next time we change the clocks, we “spring forward” an hour, right? But then in the autumn, we’re supposed to “fall back” an hour to even it out. I propose a new system: Let’s just keep springing forward an hour twice a year until dawn comes around 12:00 p.m.
Think about it. Graveyard shift workers will be able to go to sleep while it’s still dark. Night owls could be up at the crack of dawn – and get all of the sunlight they (we) really need.
This is a good plan, I know it.
Well, 2012 was not very eventful for me (and probably a terrible disappointment to a lot of New Agers, too – hahaha) – but I did read 54 books and I finished 20 knitting or sewing projects. I never kept count before last year, and I was pretty impressed with myself. I’ve been sick so long that I had come to believe that I never finished anything anymore, so that was a nice surprise.
I’m taking an online photography course starting tomorrow, so I’m trying to stay quietly busy.
I know I said (around the same time last year, if memory serves) that I was going to decide what to do with this blog, and besides torching the archives in a fit of righteous destruction, I never really did. Oh, well! I think it’s time to just face up to the fact that it’s not going anywhere, even if I never post again. Harrumph!
I’m starting the new year slowly, but I have two simple resolutions:
- Put lotion on my hands twice a day. (Which is, for some reason, much harder than it seems. As evidenced by my cracked and red hands.) This also involves lots and lots of “Silence of the Lambs” jokes, because they never get old, oh my no.
- Get comfortable sewing knits. I’m one of those ridiculous sewists that are still wary of knits. I’m not afraid of them, but I have ruined so many projects that I know I simply do not have the same level of skill as I do with woven fabrics. So I’m taking an online course in that, and this is the year I’m finally going to get okay with knits – even if it means ruining ever piece of knit fabric that I buy. Maybe this resolution just means that I will get comfortable with ruining knits. That’s entirely possible. But I’ve been sewing for more than half of my life now, and it’s just silly that I can’t sew the kinds of clothes that I like to wear.
And that’s it. That’s all I’ve got. Nothing too outrageous. Please note that I made no promises or resolution regarding this webpage.
2013: The Year of Hand Lotion and Knit Sewing.
It was as satisfying as watching a teenage diary burn when I deleted my old blog.
I hadn’t written anything of substance in a long time, but as the weeks passed, I realized that I still had things to say that didn’t fit in 140 characters. So, in short, I decided to give up blogging, but it didn’t take.
So here I am. Doing some more half-assed blogging for a nonexistent audience.
I almost renamed the blog “The Sarah L. Crowder Vanity Project,” but it wouldn’t fit in the header. Still, it’s best to think of it that way.
I feel so egotistical and weak. Sigh.