Okay, internet. My secret fantasy is actually real, and now I’m completely disappointed. I had been fantasizing about a Twitter trend that couldn’t possibly exist: #TMITuesday. Like #MusicMonday and #FollowFriday, it could perk up the workday and allow great swathes of people to participate with their favorite faceless swarm of cyber-citizens in a new way: A massive tasteless oversharing with strangers. (Like that’s new — hah!)
But a quick Twitter search revealed that it does in fact exist (thought it doesn’t trend very high), is mostly about farting, and isn’t as amusing as I had hoped.
Here are a few examples I never had the guts to tweet:
- My vagina is weeping…weeping tears of blood. #TMITuesday (And only 58 characters, not bad — easily retweeted.)
- I dreamt I pooped a 12 foot turd the other night, but I don’t think I’ve ever topped 18 inches IRL. #TMITuesday (Bam. Just like that I’m as funny as Sarah Silverman. Which is not that hard, but still…)
- I don’t know how I will pay for holiday gifts this year and I’m thinking about suicide. This is a cry for help, and also for cash. #TMITueday (See, they don’t all have to be scatological.)
I am so very, very disappointed. Please consider this post a cry for help, and also for cash. Just joking. But not really. Fuck, internet. You get worse every day.