August, 2009


27
Aug 09

Choose your own "Blade Runner" adventure.

I recently had a hankering to watch “Blade Runner” again. I always liked it, being a PKD fan and all, but I was never quite so, um, obsessed with it as people tend to be.

The problem is that whenever I want to re-watch it, I become paralyzed by the choices. Do I watch the original director’s cut? The working print cut? The all-new-super-fabuloso cut? There are like seven versions of that movie, and I never know which one to choose. (Are they all even available to choose from?)

I tried to find some sort of online “choose my ‘Blade Runner’ adventure” website, where you could click yes or no on things like “Unicorn dream sequence?” or “Shitty opening narration?” and then it would just tell you which version to watch. Someone should go out there and create that page, just as a public service. Seriously.

Still, I guess the ultimate choice would be to eschew the movie altogether and read Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep again.

Maybe I’ll just do that.


19
Aug 09

The tweet that shook the world.

Okay, so I spent a good deal of the last week insulting William Shatner because he blocked The Bloggess on Twitter. It seems that pissing off people who love The Bloggess is now officially a Bad Thing To Do ™, as we pulled together in an army and roasted Bill ’til he caved…and unblocked her.

It built gradually, but still happened pretty quickly. One day you’re fine, and the next thing you know you have a code name* and you’re in The Matrix, and then…victory. We didn’t even have to wait four years to achieve our objective (unlike the Wachowski brothers).

And it’ll be a huge BYOH** party in Zion tonight, let me tell you. Success is awesome.

Honestly, I haven’t had this much fun on the internet since 1999 or so. And that is a high compliment to the members of the Bloggess Army. Also, it’s a relief to know that there are so many witty people out on the web. It was beginning to feel like a giant infomercial out there.

So, thanks again to the Bloggess Army — and a special thanks to William Shatner for being a sport about it. Really, Bill — all my best to you, too!

*I am Lt. Ellen Ripley, from the Alien franchise.

**That’d be “Bring Your Own Hooker” — which was kind of how this all started…


7
Aug 09

Coincidence?

Someone posted a link to H. G. Wells’s “Man of the Future” on Twitter last night, and is it just me? Or does it look terrifyingly like Helium, of Strindberg + Helium fame? I know we all seem like variations on Strindberg now, but maybe one day we really will evolve into Helium-like beings — cupcakes and all…

(Also, I had completely forgotten how damned funny those cartoons were. I feel certain that I will spend the rest of the day saying “Decay! Decay, decay, decay!”)

Edited to add: Mac Tonnies posted the original link. Sorry — I had saved it, but had forgotten the source.


6
Aug 09

My desk, my oasis.

I have two part-time office jobs, and one of the issues I have to deal with is shared and/or inadequate work space. “Artistic temperament” aside, I am actually an organized worker — and I adhere to some pretty minimalist standards for my workspace.

For instance, here is my desk at Job #1.
I took this photo right when I walked in the door on a Monday morning. The desk is clear and ready for work. Everything to the right of the pencil sharpener is my space.

Here’s a closer look.
See how tidy everything is? Adding machine, stapler, tape, tissues, calendar, weird albino rat under the monitor. (There’s also a stained glass heart hanging under the window — it’s not an inhuman workspace. I have tchotchkes.) I stopped using a pen cup years ago, because people tend to view these as public property and will take your writing utensils at whim. I keep my supplies in a drawer: one mechanical pencil, one black pen, one red pen, one click eraser, one Sharpie, and one highlighter. I absolutely don’t need anything else. There are also binder clips and paper clips in my drawer, along with a legal pad and a single square of sticky notes. The second drawer is for work in progress, and the third drawer is where I keep my backpack.

Everything has a place, it’s easy to access, and there’s nothing extra I don’t use. It’s pretty close to perfect. I admit that the paper storage issue is a non-issue here — the office is paperless, and the only paper I deal with is either scanned and shredded or returned to clients.

I have had trouble with temps using the desk during tax season, though — but only because the desk was so reliably neat they thought no one actually used it.

So, you know, you might think that my inherent anal qualities might object to the mismatched furniture, or something like that. I don’t really care about that in this case. So what’s the issue?

Well, here is the other side of the room.
See that tiny bit of grey countertop to the right by the chair? That’s the end of my desk.

I used to share this space with another employee. Here’s where her desk used to be.
Chaos. I work in chaos. I think my intense neatness is partially a response to work environments just like this — because this is not the messiest place I’ve worked. It’s not even the messiest place where I currently work. I cannot post pictures of that workspace, because it sort of makes me want to cry.

And there’s a little window into my workday for you…