Everyday Life

Everyday Life — No Comments
14
May 10

Everything ends, even “Lost.”

Fucking islands, how do they work?

“Lost” is coming to a close, and though I’m still a couple of episodes behind, I’m already starting to feel a little empty inside.  I’m not pissed off, though, like everyone else seems to be.  There could never be a satisfactory ending to the show, and I’m not sure why anyone thought there would be.

The science-minded are pissed off that it’s supernatural, and the supernatural-minded are pissed that it’s not the supernatural thing they wanted.  (Hell, I’m pissed that Richard is only about the same age as Spike was on “Buffy.”  They kept hinting that he was really old, and pshaw.  He’s only like 170.  Whatever.)

But that’s just it.  Part of the beauty of “Lost” was its ambiguity.  You could sift between any number of myriad mysteries and see whatever the hell you wanted to see:  ultimate televised apophenia.  It only worked when most things remained unexplained — no one thought about how terrible it would be when they finally started making things clear.

And we’ve all been through this before.  Beloved shows end, usually badly.  Look at how “Twin Peaks” ended.  We all recovered (eventually).  You can even see these things as a learning opportunity.  For me, the ending of “Battlestar Galactica” was good practice for attaining Buddhist-style non-attachment to television plotlines, for instance.

So…I’m just along for the ride.  I’ll keep watching until it’s done, and I’m not feeling invested in any particular outcome.

Unless they kill Hurley, and then I will cut a bitch.

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27
Apr 10

AI…and footlights?

I took a little nap yesterday, and I dreamt that we finally achieved real AI…only it chose to inhabit a robotic Angela Lansbury to pursue a career in theatre in Chicago.

I think it (she?) was getting ready to debut in a revival of “Noises Off.”

Yeah.  So I’m still insane, even while sleeping.

But my dream does have a point.  Even if we ever do achieve real artificial intelligence, we have no guarantee that it will do anything we want it to do — or anything we think it will.  Maybe it would want to pursue a career in the arts, who knows?  Just because the Singularitarians believe something doesn’t make it true.  Or probable, even.

I dreamt her early reviews were good, too — that robotic Angela Lansbury.  More power to her.  (AC or DC, I wonder?)

Everyday Life / Pessimism — No Comments
5
Apr 10

“It wasn’t all that…noteworthy.”

Let’s examine what went on in my exciting life last week.

Let’s see.  I changed my Twitter background last week, and I watched that damned “Scarface” school play video so many times that I’ve said “mother fudger” accidentally when I meant to say, um, something else. (Word to the wise: It’s not a real school play.  So you can stop the shock and horror pantomime about how someone should “think of the children” already.)

What else?  I ran into an old writing acquaintance randomly on the street.  And I had tea with Tanzy, too.  Man, I’m making it sound like I did something last week — well, something besides watching “The Stand” for 8 hours on Sunday, which I also did.  Shamefully.  (Also, I know I’m supposed to fear Randall Flagg, what with the evil and the mullet and all, but…I still end up a little bit afraid of Gary Sinise every time I see that mini-series.  And he didn’t even wear copious amounts of eye liner, like in “Mission to Mars.”  Gary Sinise + Too Much Eye Liner = Sarah’s Special Nightmare.  It’s true.)

I guess the only other thing I did last week was this: I came to this understanding that the way I experience my world has narrowed to this tiny pinpoint perspective of daily life, where trying a new recipe seems newsworthy and just leaving the house for anything other than work is a Pretty Big Deal.  How much of this is a function of my depression and how much of this is just a case of early onset “middle-agedness” I couldn’t say.  But it’s a limiting way to live.

I guess I have something to work on this week.

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28
Mar 10

Ch-ch-ch-changes…done?

I think I’ve finally settled on a template here.  Easy to read — composed of black, white, & red — and minimalist enough that it doesn’t make me gag. The last one I tried was close, but it had little curlicue graphics between the posts that I just couldn’t tolerate.

So (and I’m sure this is a relief to people who recognize websites visually), I think I’ stop fiddling with the settings now.

Plus I’m sure you’re all very excited that I’ve managed to write nothing for months except for two posts explaining that I’m changing the website I don’t update in any other way.  Just doesn’t seem right, does it?

So…since I seem to be incapable of generating any original content at this time, please enjoy the following links:

  • Want to know what a Cat 1 storm is like in Antarctica?
  • Would you rather read an apology from the screenwriter of “Battlefield Earth”? (I know I want those two hours of my life back, and this is probably the closest I’ll ever get.)
  • Or perhaps you simply wish to revel in the perfection that is Furry Happy Monsters? Michael Stipe looks so happy to be amongst Muppets.

Okay. Have fun.  I’ll be back eventually.

Everyday Life — 3 Comments
22
Feb 10

“Upgrayedd.”

I got a notice a while ago that Blogger is discontinuing my preferred method of blog publishing. So, as you can see, we’ve done a little switcharoo around here.  I’m going to go through the imported posts and make sure all is well, but it looks like they all showed up with two Ds for a double dose of blogging.

Happy Monday, my friends.

Everyday Life / I Rule You — No Comments
14
Oct 09

My haircut broke a record.

Or rather, assisted in the breaking of a Guinness World Record. I was number 213 of 349 haircuts — and it was actually a really nice cut. And fun, too.

Everyday Life / Madness — No Comments
16
Sep 09

Narrative required.

I have to make up a story for everything, it seems.

For instance, my partner and I drove by the house on Woodhead with the dancing bear topiaries the other night. The bears are usually decorated for whatever holiday is current: Bunny ears for Easter, flags for July 4th, masks and pumpkins for Halloween, and so on. But the bears are currently bare, and I remarked to Lennox that I hoped the kids weren’t getting too old for it. I said I would miss the decorations — and that I really looked forward to them each holiday.

Lennox agreed, but just shook his head as I went on to re-enact an imagined conversation between the mom and the two kids (who appear to be gradeschool aged, as I have seen them in the yard). My performance included the phrases “Seriously lame” and “Do you know how hard it is to be the kid from the ‘Bear House,’ Mom? The ‘Bear House’? This is Montrose, Mom, do you know what a ‘bear’ is?”

So, you know. I require narrative. And where it is absent, I create it — from shrubberies, when necessary.

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27
Aug 09

Choose your own "Blade Runner" adventure.

I recently had a hankering to watch “Blade Runner” again. I always liked it, being a PKD fan and all, but I was never quite so, um, obsessed with it as people tend to be.

The problem is that whenever I want to re-watch it, I become paralyzed by the choices. Do I watch the original director’s cut? The working print cut? The all-new-super-fabuloso cut? There are like seven versions of that movie, and I never know which one to choose. (Are they all even available to choose from?)

I tried to find some sort of online “choose my ‘Blade Runner’ adventure” website, where you could click yes or no on things like “Unicorn dream sequence?” or “Shitty opening narration?” and then it would just tell you which version to watch. Someone should go out there and create that page, just as a public service. Seriously.

Still, I guess the ultimate choice would be to eschew the movie altogether and read Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep again.

Maybe I’ll just do that.

Everyday Life / Madness — No Comments
6
Aug 09

My desk, my oasis.

I have two part-time office jobs, and one of the issues I have to deal with is shared and/or inadequate work space. “Artistic temperament” aside, I am actually an organized worker — and I adhere to some pretty minimalist standards for my workspace.

For instance, here is my desk at Job #1.
I took this photo right when I walked in the door on a Monday morning. The desk is clear and ready for work. Everything to the right of the pencil sharpener is my space.

Here’s a closer look.
See how tidy everything is? Adding machine, stapler, tape, tissues, calendar, weird albino rat under the monitor. (There’s also a stained glass heart hanging under the window — it’s not an inhuman workspace. I have tchotchkes.) I stopped using a pen cup years ago, because people tend to view these as public property and will take your writing utensils at whim. I keep my supplies in a drawer: one mechanical pencil, one black pen, one red pen, one click eraser, one Sharpie, and one highlighter. I absolutely don’t need anything else. There are also binder clips and paper clips in my drawer, along with a legal pad and a single square of sticky notes. The second drawer is for work in progress, and the third drawer is where I keep my backpack.

Everything has a place, it’s easy to access, and there’s nothing extra I don’t use. It’s pretty close to perfect. I admit that the paper storage issue is a non-issue here — the office is paperless, and the only paper I deal with is either scanned and shredded or returned to clients.

I have had trouble with temps using the desk during tax season, though — but only because the desk was so reliably neat they thought no one actually used it.

So, you know, you might think that my inherent anal qualities might object to the mismatched furniture, or something like that. I don’t really care about that in this case. So what’s the issue?

Well, here is the other side of the room.
See that tiny bit of grey countertop to the right by the chair? That’s the end of my desk.

I used to share this space with another employee. Here’s where her desk used to be.
Chaos. I work in chaos. I think my intense neatness is partially a response to work environments just like this — because this is not the messiest place I’ve worked. It’s not even the messiest place where I currently work. I cannot post pictures of that workspace, because it sort of makes me want to cry.

And there’s a little window into my workday for you…

Everyday Life — No Comments
4
May 09

Eavesdropping is fun.

We went out to breakfast Saturday, where we overheard two young brothers arguing as we were being seated.

As we passed their table, the younger one said, “Hey, that guy has a mustache.” (Sort of random.)

“SO? I have a mustache,” said his brother, who was maybe 9. (Defiant.)

“No, you don’t.” (Utter dismissal.)

“Well, I have the shadow of a mustache.” (Very matter of fact.)

That prompted a snort and the sarcastic retort: “See ya later, SCIENTIST.”

Now, I have no idea what part of their previous conversation explained both the vitriol behind “scientist” and its connection to mustaches, but it was said with such snide fervor that I have been thinking about it ever since.

In fact, I almost said “See ya later, scientist!” to the cat as I left this morning. But she probably would have bitten me, so I refrained.

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