Things I’ve learned from reading fan fiction.

  1. The “Sanctuary” version of Nikola Tesla is an unstoppable vampire sex machine. No surprises there, really.
  2. The dirtier the scene, the worse the typos and grammatical errors. Actually, that’s unfair. There are a lot of errors everywhere.
  3. Writers of erotic fan fiction about “The Mentalist” are surprisingly realistic about Patrick Jane’s stamina, which I think is oddly charming, but now that “Jisbon” (Jane/Lisbon) is canon, they’ve gone bananas with the sex anyway.
  4. “Community” fan fic writers have penned as many feverish imaginings of Jeff and Annie’s first coupling as there are snowflakes in a blizzard. (And some “Community” fan fic is better than the “gas leak” season.)
  5. Grammatical errors won’t stop me from reading, but OOC (out of character) dialogue or actions will. I always thought I was more pedantic than that, so it’s nice to see I’ve mellowed.
  6. If Walt Longmire spent as much time worrying about his attraction to Victoria Moretti on the show as he does in fan fic, no crimes would ever get solved in Absaroka County. But also? “Longmire” fan fiction is actually a thing in the world, and for some reason that just makes me grin.
  7. Sometimes I’ll read a really, really good fan fic and wonder if the writer is going to be the next E. L. James. (I never read that novel, though. You know the one.)

Some random thoughts on “Community.”

  1. I’m just going to go ahead and give in to shipping Jeff and Annie. Honestly, I think I have been shipping them subconsciously since the debate episode — even though Britta is my favorite character on the show. I guess, like Jeff himself, I’ve just matured enough to admit my feelings on the subject. Quick parallel between episodes: After Annie tells Jeff to look in his heart in episode 3.11 and he sees mostly status symbols, a golden retriever, and multiple images of Annie (as well as one image of her boobs), he then spends the rest of the episode drunkenly yelling about marriage with Britta. Then, when Annie points out that Jeff may be “settling down” in episode 5.12, he runs off and immediately proposes marriage to Britta…but does nothing but fight with her. And then, of course, Jeff reboots Raquel by using his feelings for Annie in 5.13, and the ludicrous marriage/wedding with Britta is off very shortly later. Cue the music.
  2. I realized recently that my Chinese-American husband speaks Spanish more fluently than Benjamin Chang. I have been forbidden to call him El Tigre Chino, though.
  3. The news of the unlikely renewal of a sixth season (on Yahoo, of all places in the universe) gave me such strong emotions that I could have blown all of Raquel’s circuits. All of them. So many feels. So many.