Monthly Archives: August 2013

How to be silly and confessional at the same time.

Whether you’re joining a new Meet Up group or looking to bump into that hitman you found on Craigslist, you know that it’s always tricky to figure out who your contact is when meeting a stranger in public.

I propose a better, more honest standard of description — something that goes far beyond “I’ll be the one with the rose and the Jane Austen novel” or even the classic “I’ll be wearing a red hat, you won’t be able to miss me.”

Here are a few sample descriptions to get you started:

  1. Look for a fat lady in a green dress with a giant pimple growing directly over her third eye.
  2. Look for a woman sitting alone in a corner with a truly terrible haircut that somehow has not damaged her self-esteem.
  3. Look for a thirty-something redhead with a facial expression like someone who actually smells what The Rock is cooking.
  4. Look for a jauntily dressed woman hyperventilating and crying in the parking lot.
  5. No description needed. I will not be able to leave the house, so I will not be there.

Guess which one most accurately describes me at this time?