FMK: Characters on Metalocalypse.

Fuck: Charles Foster Offdensen, obviously. Anyone who can negotiate a Dethklok contract can negotiate consent like a BOSS. And you know he would be awesome in bed.

Marry: Pickles. Then, after being called “douchebag” one too many times, divorce Pickles. Then collect sweet, sweet Dethklok alimony forever.

Kill: Dr. Rockso. For one thing, I’m a coulrophobe and he’s a clown. But also…it would practically be a mercy killing. Yuh-yuh-yuh-yuh-yuh-yuh-YEAH!


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